The 5 Most Annoying People to See a Movie With

Going to see a movie at your local movie theater can, when you get past the ridiculous matinee prices ($9.25 at my theater back home!!), be a rather rewarding and enjoyable experience. It's a crying shame, however, that all it takes is one person to ruin your movie-going experience. As far as I've experienced things, there are five groups of people that are destined to suck most or all of the fun out of what should otherwise be an enjoyable time.

1. The Loud Laugher

Yeah, you've sat next to one of these before, and boy, can they be annoying. Because when you're going to see a comedy (or any movie, for that matter), this person just can't contain themselves. Or maybe they can, but they choose to draw all the attention to themselves. When that first funny or even mildly funny moment comes along and you hear that hyena laughter, you think, "Oh, please tell me they were laughing at something unrelated to the movie." But you find out after two or three more "funny" moments that you get a whole ninety more minutes with this little bundle of joy.

2. The Person Who Doesn't Get Out Much

At the Cinemark theater that I frequent back home, I can't remember a movie I've seen in at least the last eighteen months that hasn't featured this wonderful little no-cell-phone ad:

As cute as it may be, there's always at least one family that apparently hasn't seen this in the year-and-a-half it's been out. And while the rest of us are rolling our eyes or trying to keep from grimacing, these people are just goin' to town. They may not be loud laughers usually, but when this comes along, they're the only ones doing it.

3. The Frequent Cell Phone User

Surely these people saw the Happy the Hedgehog ad?! Yeah, you're sitting in the back and trying to take in the climax of the movie when this little skank pulls out their BRIGHT phone and proceeds to text or do something on it, totally distracting you from the movie you paid to see. Sure, there may be emergencies, so that's why I put "frequent." If there's an emergency and they leave to check it out, that's all good. But if they sit there and unashamedly text away, shame on them.

4. The Crowder

Although I'm not necessarily one of them, there are some people that prefer to wait until a few weeks after a movie's release date to see the movie when it's less crowded. As good an idea as this may be, there's no hiding from these space invaders. You know, the people that sit right next to you or just really close to you when there is a whole freakin' theater to choose from. These people are just creeps. Or have depth perception issues.

5. The Lover(s)

Not only do these people take your footrest by sitting in front of you, but they then proceed to engage in a steamy make-out session in your plain sight, with noises and all. And gosh, some of these people just don't know when to quit. They'll just go after it throughout the whole movie and everyone behind them can't take their eyes off of this often horrible scene, much like a bad car wreck. Some of these people are so bad, they'll do this for any movie. Even Schindler's List. And for those of you who have never seen Schindler's List, there isn't one romantic thing about it....because it's a Holocaust movie.

The key to enjoying your movie is early detection. If you see any of these people, find a way to convince them that they're in the wrong movie. Sometimes, it may just work.